I once found myself in a very uneasy situation where several eyes were staring at me, conveying their disapproval of what I had done. My face burned under their displeasure, and I did not know what to do, except to look down on the floor and pretended nothing was wrong. Thankfully, the door in front of me was soon opened. A lady emerged and I quickly rushed into that small cubicle she just vacated, locked the door and started to reflect. What had I done wrong?
The above situation took place years ago, when I first came to study in Singapore. The first few weeks were shocking for me, as I experienced culture shocks, one after another. However, of all these culture differences that I experienced, the episode at the crowded toilet of a shopping mall is the one I will never forget.
I am not sure about gentleman’s toilet, but I have observed that the ladies’ in crowded shopping malls are identical with long queue. Singaporeans queue in one straight line before the army of cubicles and whichever cubicle that is vacated later will be taken by the first person in the queue. However, this is not how we queue in Indonesia. There, we stood in front of cubicles of our choice. For example, if I have stood in front of cubicle A, then I am only entitled to enter into cubicle A. Even if cubicle B is vacated and I happen to arrive before the lady who is standing in front of cubicle B, she is the one entitled to use cubicle B, and not me.
Unaware of the queuing culture in Singapore, I conveniently stood in front of a cubicle when I first used the public toilet. I was unaware that the long line was made up of people who are queuing for the cubicles. I even thought that they were simply waiting for their friends, as they were standing before the lines of cubicles and not in front of each cubicle!
I later related this experience to my mentor, who explained to me about the queuing culture in Singapore. I then learned that cutting a queue is considered very rude and frowned upon.
I have learned a valuable lesson to be more aware of cultural differences so as to avoid being in hot soup situations in the future.
Hi Sheila,
ReplyDeleteYour experience is somehow the same with mine. In Vietnam we also have that "queuing method" to wait for the toilet. Each person chooses their own convenient cubicle, stands right outside and waits.
However, I was aware of queuing culture in Singapore before coming here, so I did not experience your feeling. But I can understand your feeling haha.
Hi Hong!
ReplyDeleteyah, it was such a bad situation. (especially when the older ladies did not hesitate to show their displeasure. haha.)
I should have found this out before coming, to avoid such conflict. haha.
Hi Sheila!
ReplyDeleteI did not knew you were from Indonesia! You look and sound like a local! Which part of Indonesia are from from?
Now, this might be the reason why those ladies did not hesitate to show you their displeasure. You look and sound like a Singaporean and thus I guessed that they misunderstood that you know about our local queuing culture.
Anyway we all grow from our mistakes!
See you around in class!
Hi Sheila!
ReplyDeleteI think it's difficult to find out about cultures of countries before travelling to them. Of course, there are some cultural traits that are more obvious which you can learn from asking people.
However, I feel that there is still a wide range of cultural traits that one can learn only from experience. For instance, if a foreigner is coming to Singapore and wants to know more about the culture so as to blend in better, he/she won't ask people about how they queue in toilets, right? I hope you can get what I'm trying to say.
Hi Sheila,
ReplyDeleteAs Admund said, we all learn from mistakes.
there is a saying, which goes that do in Rome as the Romans do. but we cannot know all the different cultures, so mistake is inevitable. so i think effective intercultural communication itself is also a process of learning. right? even though sometimes you may not want to experience it, you can not say it's helpless.
Hi Sheila,
ReplyDeleteI like the start of your story and it brings me to the scene you experienced that day vividly.
Cultural shock happens all the times, even though you come from a country which is very close to Singapore. That is why people often say that we need great courgae to step out of our comfortable zone.:-) We may experience something embarrassing but we can learn a lot during the process.
See you around in class.
Hi Sheila,
ReplyDeleteYour start of the story is very exciting. When I first read it, I don't know what it means and try to get it. Suddenly, I understand and it makes a deep impression on me.
We will always come across some embarrassing situations when we are in a different culture. These situations may seem funny when we recall them in the future but they do teach us a lot and give us a better understanding of certain culture.
It is always good to look for some comments on certain culture before we go to that place. I think you have well involed yourself in this culture. At first, I thought you are a local Singaporean Chinese. It is hard for me to associate you with Indonesia. Hehe~
:-)
@ Edmund : hehe. yah, because i have been in singapore for like, erm, 7 years? haha. i'm from Medan, North Sumatera. Hmm...i think you are right. I do look like local, eventhough at that time, i did not sound like one. But i did not have chance to talk either. So nobody knew i was not local!
ReplyDelete@Yong Feng : yup. i got it. It's partly my fault, for not bothering to ask, and for not finding out about it. This is a good lesson for me : always to be more aware of cultural differences and not just take it for granted. =)
@ Forrest : yes, i agree with you. thanks for the input! =)
@ Cosine : yah, you are right. Does not matter that it was embarrassing. when i'm still young, i can still manage a thick face and thus, learn from all my mistakes! haha. see you around!
@ Brooks : haha. yah, until i told you about Indonesia and you asked me about Bali. haha. and yes, thanks for the input. see you around! =)
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ReplyDeleteI have to admit, Sheila, that after I first read this post, I had to reread it before I really understood that you had cut the queue. Am I showing my ignorance, or my tired eyes? In any case, you have zeroed in on a very specific incident and shown how even the way one manages a queue is cultural norm-based. It might have been a bit clearer, I think, if you had spelt out in the first paragraph -- or at least in the 2nd -- just exactly what you had done to attract so much attention.
ReplyDeletelet me clarify one sentence: A lady emerged and quickly rushed into that small cubicle she just vacated, locked the door and started to reflect. >>> A lady emerged and I quickly rushed into that small cubicle she just vacated, locked the door and started to reflect. Right?
Thanks for sharing this!
Hi Brad!
ReplyDeleteYou are right. I missed the I there due to my carelessness. Sorry about that.
And thank you for your feedback. This time round, I was experimenting with new style, in which i described the scenario first before telling the readers the rationale behind. I was not aware that this style will cause confusion to the readers. Thank you for pointing this out! In the future, i will include description early in the passage.
thank you! =)