Interpersonal conflict

I have seen and experienced many conflicts that arise due to assumptions, unuttered expectations, and the absence of you-attitude. The following hypothetical situations aims at highlighting a conflict due to above factors that may be typical in our daily lives.

Karen, a cheerful and happy-go-lucky girl was very quiet during dinner. She was feeling down at the moment, having lost her wallet and found out that some of her books had been destroyed by molds due to careless keeping. These two events happened on two consecutive days, disallowing Karen the chance to collect herself together after each misfortunate.

Charlie, Karen’s friend, was aware of the mishaps that befell his friend. Nonetheless, he did not offer Karen any help. Instead, he joked about Karen’s adversity and claimed that she was over-reacting.

That proved to be the last straw for Karen and she snapped “Do you have the faintest idea what I have been through? It’s miserable enough that you, claiming to be my friend, do not offer me any help. And now you even joke about it? What an insensitive creature you are.” 

Karen then left the table, vowing not to talk to Charlie anymore.

Charlie was puzzled. He had assumed that Karen was fine because she did not approach him for help. Little did he know that Karen was expecting him to help, without her pleas. Then Charlie remembered that her wallet was a gift from her grandmother. Karen also got here books from her childhood friends, which explain Karen’s grave reaction. Failure to position himself in Karen’s shoes had cost him their friendships.

Looking at the murky situation here, what would you suggest to the two characters in order to resolve their conflict?

Why effective communication skills are important for me

"Sheila, first, let me tell you that this is a good piece of writing. I will not hesitate to give you a good grade if this is about writing a summary of your chosen topic. However, what we are looking for is how you get your idea across to your readers. It's about how you engage the readers and communicate with them. Not by throwing them with facts only. You need to talk to them. You get me?" asked my tutor.

I nodded.

"So, don't be discouraged and keep on working. I am sure you will do much better next time". She ended with an encouraging smile.

I nodded again. However, the truth is, I didn't get what she meant. Even so, I didn't bother asking her anymore because I was feeling so down at the time. Fortunately, weeks later, I managed to find out what she meant after consulting one of my seniors.

This episode, which took place 2 semesters ago brought to me the realisation of how important and difficult good communication is. And this struggle is not limited to writing. I soon realised that it applies to my daily conversations as well. Often, I am disappointed at the unexpected reactions I get from the people around me.

"That's not it!," I would normally scream in my head," Oh gosh. I didn't mean that. Seriously, why did it come across badly?"

All of these resulted from my inability to express myself the way i intended to, thus, giving the other party the wrong signal and interpretation.

In short, my incapability to communicate effectively has cost me my grades and perhaps, some friendship. Through these hard ways, I have learned why effective communication is crucial.

Hello world

=)