"Sheila, first, let me tell you that this is a good piece of writing. I will not hesitate to give you a good grade if this is about writing a summary of your chosen topic. However, what we are looking for is how you get your idea across to your readers. It's about how you engage the readers and communicate with them. Not by throwing them with facts only. You need to talk to them. You get me?" asked my tutor.
I nodded.
"So, don't be discouraged and keep on working. I am sure you will do much better next time". She ended with an encouraging smile.
I nodded again. However, the truth is, I didn't get what she meant. Even so, I didn't bother asking her anymore because I was feeling so down at the time. Fortunately, weeks later, I managed to find out what she meant after consulting one of my seniors.
This episode, which took place 2 semesters ago brought to me the realisation of how important and difficult good communication is. And this struggle is not limited to writing. I soon realised that it applies to my daily conversations as well. Often, I am disappointed at the unexpected reactions I get from the people around me.
"That's not it!," I would normally scream in my head," Oh gosh. I didn't mean that. Seriously, why did it come across badly?"
All of these resulted from my inability to express myself the way i intended to, thus, giving the other party the wrong signal and interpretation.
In short, my incapability to communicate effectively has cost me my grades and perhaps, some friendship. Through these hard ways, I have learned why effective communication is crucial.
Hi Sheila!
ReplyDeleteReading your little story, I realized I probably would be stunned by what that tutor said as well. Fortunately, this has not happened to me before. However, like yourself, poor communication skills have strained my friendships at certain points in time of my life as well. Nothing disastrous happened, but all the disputes could have been prevented if my friends and I had communicated well.
Hey Sheila!
ReplyDeleteYou illustrated your points perfectly using the story you had posted! I guess I was pretty much in the same situation like you in the past.
Poor communication skills had cost me some friendship and of course grades. But well we are learning and taking steps to improve ourselves so that this will not happen again by taking this course!
See you around in class!
typical Sheila :D
ReplyDeleteSheila!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you mean. It's most frustrating when people just don't get what you're saying! Haha.
But I won't deny that sometimes, I go 'huh?' or 'what?' many times before I understand exactly what the person is saying. Other times, I just pretend I understand just like you did with your tutor.
Hope we can overcome this in the future !
Hi Sheila! When I was reading through your blog, this sentence really strikes me.
ReplyDelete'"That's not it!," I would normally scream in my head," Oh gosh. I didn't mean that. Seriously, why did it come across badly?"
'
It is something that I can totally relate to because I also had that exact same thoughts many times before! Of course, I often wished that time can be re-winded so that we can twist their fate if better communication was established.
I'm lucky that it hasn't really cost me any friendship thus far, but had put me through many cases of misunderstanding with friends and even supervisors at work. So, before more regrets come along, we shall learn to rectify through better communications skills! =)
Yong Seng : good for you! may your friendships last. =)
ReplyDeleteEdmund : yup! thanks! see you around in class.
Yyxin : yah...so typically the blur Sheila Koh. haha.
Pavi : yes! hopefully no more feigned comprehension in the future. hehe.
Li Shan : totally agree! Till today, there are still times that i wish Doraemon really exists, so that I could borrow the time machine and go back to right those wrongs. But oh well, I guess that will never be possible (at least not in the near future. hehe. ) and yes, we will be able to communicate better in the future!
PS. I tried posting comment on your blog, but somehow, the word verification part was blocked. =(
Hello ,Sheila ~
ReplyDeleteI read your stories and they seem to happened on me ! Sometimes I am afraid to check again for certain thing . I think this shows that you don't listen carefully and you don't respect the speaker .And sometimes I am also upset for some of my friends' words and actions .As I grow older ,I realise that all these may happen in my life .In most cases ,it is not my fault .As long as I care more about others and be sincere and active ,I will make myself understood .Hope we all will have better understanding of communication during this class .start a new journey ~
It seems that a lot of us have encountered the same probably before. I had the same problem of not being understood while working in US. It was kind of humiliating that I could not talk "properly" while all my other colleagues were expressing themselves freely.
ReplyDeleteHowever,as you mentioned in the blog, we can improve ourselves. I am sure that everyone of us will be lending each other a helping hand during the this learning journey.
Dear Sheila,
ReplyDeleteExcellent effort! I really like the unique approach you have adopted in this post. The anecdote describing your encounter with a writing tutor demonstrates well how what one intends to communicate is not necessarily conveyed by the message one creates. You show that to be true in writing and orally. Thanks for this.
here are two very minor suggestions for your language use:
1) You get me?", asked my tutor. >>> You get me?" asked my tutor.
2) Am sure you will do much better... >>> I am sure you will do much better....
So sorry for the late reply. I had some issue with technology last week. =)
ReplyDelete@Brooks : yah, those kind of things happen. If i'm not close to the person, I will tend to avoid asking him/her to repeat, because I'm afraid I might offend the person. Not everybody can take criticism easily, i guess.
@Nan : yes, we'll definitely improve. By the way, I find myself understanding your words and expressions well. =)
@Brad: Thanks a lot for your feedback. I have since corrected my post. Looking forward to your feedback in all my future posts! =)